purgastory inbox

[nautycal]

HELLO

"Yo. It's Sakamoto Ryuji. Leave a message at the - is there a beep on this thing?"

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

Comments

action

[animatedly]

[haunts you down

let's go with a bathroom prompt since you wrote those into reality anna. Reirin is inside the bathroom. She turns around when the door opens and Ryuji appears,]

Oh! Hello. Are you here to use the baths...?

[luckily she is not INDECENT but also now they're in the bathroom together]

[nautycal]

[Sorry about this, hold on, but he just

lets out an undignified scream when he sees a GIRL in the BATHROOM and runs out of there with the speed of a cheetah.]

SORRY, I DIDN'T SEE NOTHIN', I SWEAR!

[animatedly]

[THIS IS SO FUNNY

the bathroom door opens and reirin comes on out at x0.5 speed,]

My, your speed is astonishing!

action.

[handfast]

[ you are so needy




anyway where's ryuji. it doesn't matter where he is because there is someone staring at him regardless....from the shadows.....dramatically.... ]

[nautycal]

[VAL, YOUR INBOX!!! I WAS JUST TEASING YOU!!!!

WHY IS THIS GUY JUST SASUKE-ING HIM?! He double-takes once he realizes Hal is creepily staring at him from the shadows.]

Dude, you good? Why are you just standing over there starin' at people?!

1/3

[aerodynamic]

i need u

2/3

[aerodynamic]

wait crap not like that
but i need 2 c u

action

[tenebrescent]

[Give me a thread binch]

[nautycal]

[NOT YOU COMING IN HERE LIKE THIS.

Okay, well, Mitsuba can walk into Ryuji's trailer. Forces him to be inconsiderate. Ryuji is present, sitting on a little unmade (of course) twin bed. The room has piles of mess everywhere, but luckily nothing gross. The grossest thing is probably the empty bottles of protein drinks which are annoying close to the trash can, but not in it. There's a desk with some clutter, an entertainment stand with a clutter of video games (they are all not in the right case), a beaten to hell skateboard, a rack of trophies.

A lot of the awards on the wall have to do with track, but there are a sprinkling of a few which show someone suspiciously Ryuji shaped, but in a leather outfit and a skull mask. Doin' the good, questionably vigilante deeds.

The person on the TV is a handsome, dark-haired boy Ryuji's age who may or may not be familiar from several weeks ago. The TV has been muted though.

Anyway, Mitsuba scares the piss outta him. He has a magazine in his hands, open, with a page inside which opens several times. It looks like it had been rolled up, so it's a little difficult to straighten out. Ryuji yells in surprise and throws the magazine quickly up over his head and behind him where it falls down between the bed and the wall.]

What the hell, dude?!

text

[transmit]

You hanging in there?

[ looks at this week's theming

immediately thinks of ryuji ]

[nautycal]

[DON'T JUST THINK OF HIM!!!!!!]

idk man
theres a weird love hotel thing
and then some movie of me and yosuke almost kissing
idk whats gonna on anymore dude!

ur not bald this week are u???

w4, action

[handfast]

[ where's ryuji :) ]

[nautycal]

[This was the most horrifying tag to get as I was getting ready.

He's, uhhhhh. Walking to the simulator... Don't judge him. HE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING WEIRD IN THERE.]

voice

[voring]

[APPEARS.]

Are you the lobster guy?

[nautycal]

[THE VOICE MAKES THIS CREEPIER.]

Uh--who the hell is this?

[The way I don't know if there is calling ID, or if it matters.]

text

[glub]

if someone calls asking if youre the lobster guy
just say yes dun ask questions

shhhh



[ wait i guess they might not have emojis you get me ]

Re: text

[nautycal]

what the hell did u do?!!
IM NOT THE LOBSTER GUY
U AND YUSUKE R THE LOBSTER GUYS!!!!

action

[aerodynamic]

[ walks into whatever room ryuji's in in purrfect penance and pelts him with like three bags of salty chippies. ]

[nautycal]

[He is just in here minding his own business, chillin', and then two seconds after the door opens, he gets pelted by salty chippies. It startles him.

He warbles in surprise, but more important, he throws some sort of beat-to-hell magazine hurriedly up over his shoulder and back between the edge of the bed and the wall.]

Dude?! What the hell!

action

[tenebrescent]

[attacks you again

Anyway he will come find Ryuuji eventually]

Hey, wannabe RPG boy. Come help me.

[nautycal]

[NOT ME GETTING BACK TO BACK SHENANIGANS.]

Wanna be what?! [THOSE ARE FIGHTIN' WORDS.] You can't say to help you after you lead with an insult!

w5, action

[handfast]

[ they're in the sleepover corner. hak is wearing a bear kigu. he has dragged ryuji down and wrapped him in a warm blankie. also, he has a very important question to ask. ]

Did you end up kissing anyone?

[ why is he leading with this ]

[nautycal]

[The way I passed out so early yesterday. THIS IS SO STUPID.

Ryuji is out here again in the best corner in the world. With a blankie. He is trying not to laugh about Hak in the kigu which is hysterical because he is in a dog one.]

Huh?!

[Boy, did he.]

I, uh--I mean, yeah! It was great. [Totally a girl.] Did you? You said you didn't wanna kiss anyone, but you totally could.

[transmit]

MERRY 🎄🎅 FUCKING 🎁 CHRISTMAS 🎉 YOU HO-HO-HO! 😜 MAY YOUR 🎊 DAYS BE 🎶 MERRY ✨ AND BRIGHT☀️ AND YOUR 🍪 COOKIES NEVER 🍩 RUN OUT! I 👏🏼👏🏼 THANK 🎅 THE ICEFIELD MESSENGER FOR PUTTING 🎁 YOU ON HIS 🎄"NICE" LIST, EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW YOU'RE A BIT 😈 "NAUGHTY" SOMETIMES. YOU ARE THE ❄️ MOST PERFECTLY GIFT-WRAPPED 🎁 DISASTER 🔥 THIS HOLIDAY SEASON HAS EVER SEEN! 🕵️♂️💫 NOW GO GET YOURSELF 🍷🎂 SOME EGGNOG, 🛷 CRANK UP THAT ALIVE UNTIL SUNSET 🎤, AND MAKE IT A 💃 SEASON TO 🎊 SLAY ✨! YOU DESERVE A 🎉 HOLIDAY FULL OF PRESENTS 🎁, GOOD VIBES 💌, AND ALL THE 🍑 YOU CAN HANDLE!

SEND THIS TO 🔟 OF YOUR BADDEST SINNERS 💁🏼💁🏾 IF YOU GET 0️⃣ BACK, YOU'RE UP NEXT FOR THE CAGE 🚓🚫! IF YOU GET 🔟 BACK YOU BETTER BE READY FOR PAPÁ NOEL'S HOT ♨️ CARAJILLO ☕️

LOVE ❤️ YOU, YOU SLEIGH-RIDING🎄 ELF-ASS SINNER! 💋 MAY YOUR HOLIDAYS NEVER ❌ BE BASIC! TURN UP 🔝 AND HAVE A VERY LIT 🔥CHRISTMAS! 🎉🎅

[nautycal]

[HELP ME NOT ME GETTING TWO OF THESE FROM PEOPLE. THE XMAS CHAIN VIRUS HAS TAKEN HOLD.]

dude wtf
r u sending chain letters???
did someone hack u