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[ this is the worst best day of HIS life??? yosuke and ryuji really are on the same wavelength, and somehow that protest makes him laugh softly under his breath. ]

Yeah, okay. [ he will believe that because he knows it's true for himself. nevertheless, he watches the chips sail to the floor and he continues to look at him, pausing again before he scoots a tiny bit closer. ] Okay.

[ okay? he takes a breath, seemingly steeling himself as he leans forward...

and averts at the last minute, head turned to the side. ]

Sorry, hang on. [ ahhhh???? god, how do you even kiss someone? he's definitely watched enough movies (and also.. movies...) but like! it's different with a real person! in real life! and a guy!!!

give him a second, sorry ryuji. ]

Okay? Okay.

[Honestly, this is worse than sorting through the experience of kissing a dude, if he's being real. His stomach is iron, but his chest is warm. He's hyped himself up into just knowing he is about to get kissed, only for Yosuke to dodge away at the last second.

HELLO! The tension drops gently into his stomach, and he exhales the breath he had been holding. C'mon, man! He was so ready! He had been prepared! Now he has to prepare again, and it's making him frustrated.

But he's not sure how Yosuke would take it if he just grabbed Yosuke by the face and smooched. He's trying to help Yosuke ease into it. He's trying to stick to his own morals, consent! Asking. Damn, is this why Hak didn't ask him, or something? Because if you wait on the other party to take the initiative, you might miss it?]

Dude, [quietly,] relax. You're freakin' me out by bein' freaked out. You want me to go first?

[They're both bottoms.]

[ this is so stupid. all of it is so stupid? there's an agitated noise in the back of his throat and he quickly shakes his head. ]

No. No, it's fine, just... [ he does not think he'd get a proper gauge if ryuji did it to him, just like he doesn't think ryuji could gauge it if yosuke wasn't the one initiating. thank you for not grabbing his face? that would end in a bite and not a nice one. but ryuji says to relax and he takes a breath, forcing himself to calm down. ]

Relax. [ whether this is to ryuji or to himself, it's hard to say. probably both? it's probably both given he's still moving a little cautiously, and at the last minute darts forward to actually kiss him. it's more of a quick peck than anything, and there's a moment where his heart pounds a little harder. okay. that... probably didn't do anything? that was kind of pathetic, so this time he shifts on the bed to draw closer, hand curling into a fist in the fabric of ryuji's shirt to pull him back and actually kiss him a little longer this time.

who's the bottom NOW??? (it's still both of them.) ]

[Truly, he thinks the first peck is all there is and there will be. It's done. It's over! Two dudes have kissed, and he was one of them, and it's finished.]

That wasn't so--

[But it isn't.

Before any of his insides can settle, before his face can stop being red, Yosuke grabs him by the shirt and yanks him back. One hand goes out to brace himself so they don't clack teeth, the other gets a hold of Yosuke's forearm. Not to jerk away, not to squeeze, just to hold.

Well, now it's a competition!!! He can't just let Yosuke be the top! He is a MAN!! (They're both men.) He has a point to prove, and the point is that he isn't a bottom.

So he leans forward and tries to (gently) wrestle mouth control away from Yosuke.]

[ oh good, it has now gone full stupid. (it was already stupid.) ryuji is definitely a bottom though? he leans forward and yosuke allows him to take control for all of five seconds, if only because he's still trying to learn how to really kiss and decide what it is he's feeling, but the hand on his forearm nets a little jolt of surprise and there's a kind of tension draining out of him as this continues.

of course, what replaces it is the insane need to take the upper hand again. ryuji has control for a moment, but yosuke presses back into him, attempting to take over again even as he crawls closer and tries to push him back down. no, shut up, let him be the top!!!

let's also ignore the part where they really could have stopped kissing now that they proved the original point, but somehow that thought isn't really crossing his mind right now. ]

[They really could have stopped kissing about thirty seconds ago. But here they are, still kissing. And fighting over kissing no less.

He fumbles back, but catches himself by shifting his supporting arm behind him, but then Yosuke is CRAWLING ON HIM. RELAX, DUDE! Ignore the heated enjoyment ping-ponging at Yosuke from him.

Slowly, he is being bent down from his hand to his elbow, though the grip on Yosuke's arm tightens so that Yosuke can't escape.

The first half of the kissing was the awkward sort of inexperience that comes with never having really kissed; however, there is now an instinctual integration into something more coherent. He isn't a terrible kisser!! Mid kisser.

THEY COULD HAVE STOPPED KISSING, but they are still playing gay kiss chicken, with Ryuji bent halfway down and still glued to Yosuke, trying to prove a point.

And the point is he can kiss! Even dudes! They were supposed to be kissing Yu and Akira.]

[ so he can't escape? where the hell would he even go right now? ryuji does what he wants by leaning back and yosuke settles over him, practically on top of him, and the pleasure derived from the kiss seems to be ricocheting. that alone is a bit of a startling realization, that he can enjoy kissing a guy, and more than that he kind of likes the fact ryuji hasn't let him go.

the hell does that mean...?

is it gay chicken if this is just gay at this point? possibly. they're easing away from awkward and terrible kissing into something more mid, and yosuke decides that no, they are in fact playing gay chicken and he's going to be a terrible person and test the waters by licking at the seam of ryuji's mouth to get him to open his lips further. again, if he's going down, he's dragging this guy with him because filth recognizes filth. (and maybe just because it's kind of fun.) he is still thinking about yu though and not wanting to be so bad at this he turns the guy off, and he's still not convinced ryuji doesn't like akira, so in theory? he's helping both of them. maybe ryuji will have a brain cell and stop them. ]

[Gay kiss chicken. Whichever boy quits kissing first is the chicken.

This is truly what he always imagined happening with a girl, and it never dawned on him at all he would be here, stuck beneath a dude. And... he strangely doesn't mind it as much as he thought he would? It doesn't cause his insides to recoil in horror like he always imagined.

This is definitely Akira's doing.

Ryuji does not have a brain cell to stop that. It only takes half of that one lick for his mouth to fall open and let Yosuke in. Sorry, but his little gravestone sin is lust? What was expected here.

His hand tightens a little around Yosuke's arm. The other hand ends up bunched in the clothes on Yosuke's side. Not pulling, but not pushing. Blockading the escape maybe. Yosuke committed to making out with him, and now there is no going back once tongue is involved.]

[ the problem is i don't trust you or them. mostly them.

this is the same situation yosuke finds himself in. he'd always daydreamed about having a girlfriend to smooch whenever the hell he wanted, and he'd been lowkey nervous about kissing and whether he'd be any good at it, but he's finding that he's not as in his head about it as he thought. it's easy and instinctual, breathing through his nose and letting his hand brush over the side of ryuji's face to tilt his head up for easier access.

he can freak out about this when it's over, but for now it feels... kind of really nice, actually.

ryuji doesn't have a braincell and yosuke's taking this as a greenlight, tongue slipping into his mouth more out of curiosity than anything. he has definitely forgotten ryuji's gravestone but maybe it wouldn't make a damn difference since they're both teenagers. there's a low sound somewhere in the back of his throat when he feels the tighter grip on his arm and he decides that if ryuji's not letting him leave, he may as well make himself comfortable in his lap officially.

this really did start with him just pelting the other guy with chips, and he has since chosen violence in continuing to make out with him. maybe a cat will appear to break them apart, but at the moment yosuke's not quite interested in stopping. ]

[screens this thread so no one can read it ever again

The weird, tingling warmth in his chest slides slowly down into the bottom of his stomach. There's no way to stop the instinctual enjoyment of making out in general. In a way, Yosuke should have smelled gross, or been ugly, or had an atrocious personality. Then he wouldn't be in this (soon-to-be) precarious situation at all.

But no. Yosuke had to be cute, and have good hygiene, and be a decent guy. Oh well. Problems for later Ryuji.

He pulls on the arm he has captured, tugging it around to the side while he leans up and twists. He dumps Yosuke down over on the bed and follows right in after, pinning Yosuke's arm down, not even taking half a second to breathe, and then diving in to kiss Yosuke again. He's a top, he's a top, he's a top! (He's not a top.)

Thankfully, this kissing only lasts for a moment or two before he pulls slowly back so he can try to catch his breath. And, like, let the cold hard logic of what's happening sink in through the thick, heady brain fog.]

Dude...

[ even though you just threw it out there as a thoughtshare to tsukasa of all people...

anyway yeah, sorry, as much as i personally dunk on yosuke belonging in the trash he is in fact pretty decently cute with good hygiene and a good person. a terrible thing for this situation, but it's fine. enjoy your bi crisis, dude.

he's slightly lighter than ryuji, built more for speed than anything, so it means it's easy to flip them over and pin yosuke's arm down. there's a surprised sort of squeak, but it's muffled with another kiss and he settles on just letting this happen because the kissing itself is nice. please stop deluding yourself into believing you're a top, it will not work.

ryuji pulls back and yosuke opens his eyes, not quite remembering when the hell he closed them while he blinks up at ryuji and tries to pinpoint how, exactly, he feels while catching his breath. ]

... oh. [ it's a very soft, quiet thing, more the tone of realization that something you still weren't sure you wanted to be true is actually true. he feels warm and antsy, kind of like he wants to keep doing something with the sudden pent-up energy, but at the same moment there's an icy feeling in the pit of his stomach like he's really grasping the reality of the fact he liked making out with another guy. he turns his head to the side, staring at the bed for a second while processing all of that and licking his lips in thought. ]

I'm... [ say something, idiot. ] That was... okay. [ it sounds like he's calling ryuji a mid kisser, but it's more like he doesn't actually know how to describe it and he's saying "okay" to regroup. he hasn't let go of him either, and he hasn't pushed him off. this is just where they are now. ]

S-Sorry. Was supposed to be...

[Well, just practice.

It's confusing trying to parse the warm and energetic feeling overlaid with the icy realization of what may be taboo. Are those his feelings? Yosuke's? And, more importantly, did he do something wrong? No in the essence of kissing a dude, but in infiltrating Yosuke's personal space, in kissing.

It was bad, wasn't it? But Yosuke hadn't stopped him...?

He's not sure what to do with his hands--with his anything. It feels like he's still supposed to be trying to kiss Yosuke instead of hovering over the guy awkwardly like this, yet... continuing also feels weird? Yosuke wanted practice, and is more kissing practice, or untoward? Does he stroke Yosuke's face? Will pulling away to sit give the wrong impression? :man: A lot to consider.

Anyway, of course, he takes the declaration as he was mid which is actually fair. Mumbling, offended:]

C'mon, man, that was, like... my first kiss.

[Not really what he should be broadcasting, but whatever! His face lights up more than just the steady, subtle heat from kissing, and he ends up dropping his forehead down against Yosuke's chest. He's just trying to catch his breath. He'll never live this foray down.]

...It wasn't bad or nothin'.

[ his shoulders curl in on themselves and he remains a little hunched, still not quite looking at ryuji. the warm, almost fuzzy nature of it all seems to be outranking the taboo uncertainty even if he also kind of wants to cry because it's confusing. luckily he's not that far gone, and he can at least recognize this for what it was.

practice. and he started this anyway, so he has to own up to it. he could stand to let ryuji go but he remains still anyway as he chances a glance at him. ]

Yeah, well, it was my first one, too. [ it's mumbled back because having to admit that is embarrassing either way, and it's more instinct than not when ryuji rests his face on his chest that a hand comes up to fix the back of his hair. restless energy. a need to touch. something. ]

... you weren't bad at it. That's not... it wasn't that. None of that was bad. [ which is the actual bad part. ] Sorry, I know kinda got carried away but I... [ he sighs. ] Sorry. Are you okay?

[The fingers ignite his entire spine; his body reacts so differently after being riled up than it would under normal circumstances. The capped energy makes him rub his face against Yosuke's chest a bit before he lifts himself up just enough to glance up again.

His cheeks are red. Idiot.]

Yeah, m'fine.

[Just questioning every single thing he has ever thought he knew about himself is all. Getting flirted with by Akira doesn't seem so flustering anymore.

He looks like he is going to say something, but then he doesn't. Like he is struggling to figure out how to make his words work. What does he do with all this energy that wants to keep going? To try again, maybe slower this time.

Then he wonders if he is some kinda freak, going from pals straight into make out buddies, and--worse??--what about Yosuke's feelings for Yu?]

You okay, dude...?

[ don't just nuzzle against him, you fool, all that's doing is making him want to cling a little, never mind the fact he's also a little red and not quite meeting his eyes again. his hand stays in ryuji's hair though like he's not sure what to do with it. ]

Okay. Cool. [ a little awkwardly, and he clears his throat like he's working to regain his composure. it's... definitely not as bad as he thought, except what the fuck does that mean? he'd just been spouting shit when he called him on having a crush on akira, but ryuji had definitely kissed back and kinda took over. worse, actually, yosuke just... let him??? and of course he's still thinking about yu and what this means because now that he's kind of aware kissing guys isn't as disgusting as he maybe anticipated he has to acknowledge that he's probably a little in love with his best friend.

fuck. ]

Yeah, I'm fine. [ because that's easier to say than elaborating on his slowly mounting mental breakdown about the fact this really takes away all plausible deniability and also the frankly insane thought that he would be okay continuing to practice on ryuji. which is shitty because, like, this is his friend? you don't use your friends just to figure out if you're into dudes or not. ] I guess I just wasn't expecting that.

Yeah, me neither.

[When you aren't sure about any dude kissing, so you're really only trying to help a bro out, and then you realize you're maybe into dudes a little because of it. Damn.

He's now going to lie awake at night trying to re-calibrate his own feelings about his best friend. Maybe he's going to have to kiss Akira to find out what they are...? Later Ryuji problems.

Right now Ryuji problems are he's antsy, confused, and kinda curious about maybe trying to kiss some more. When you get one (1) kiss and the craving never leaves you...]

You wanna, uh...? [Damn, his face gets red again.] ...N-Nevermind.

[ he really did come in and throw a bomb at ryuji to make him think about his feelings for his own protag. he does not feel remotely sorry about this because he's going to be doing the same about yu for a while.

as it is, he's still kind of pinned and he seems to be trying to sort out his own feelings when ryuji speaks up. ]

Yeah. [ it's said without thought, and without actually knowing what he's agreeing to, but... it's fine, right? it's just practice and satisfying curiosity. he seems to realize he just blurted out an answer though because he's quick to backpedal. ] I-I mean... if you wanna, like... it's okay if you're not down? We can just hang out.

[ and do what, eat more chips and read more mpreg? please. ]

[NOT THE IMMEDIATE YEAH. They would really be forced to sit and look at mpreg with chips while pretending like they didn't just make out.

He swallows gently, and then he sort of huffs a laugh at how ridiculous the feelings are bouncing back and forth between them. Why did kissing come with so many caveats! Insane!]

Sorry, it was just... [Nice. He doesn't wanna say that, it sounds pathetic.] Anyway.

[Commit or get the hell out, he guesses. He slides forward over Yosuke's body to get closer, until his face is right there, almost like he will just start kissing Yosuke again. But he hesitates briefly in the same way Yosuke had initially, realizing he has to work the nerve up over the rising hot tingle in the middle of his chest. Okay!!!!! It's fine, dude!!!!!!

It's so embarrassing looking Yosuke in the eyes, but he finds he can't do anything else except search Yosuke's face to make sure the dude isn't repulsed. Maybe not by kissing guys. By him. No one has ever wanted to kiss him before.

He closes the gap tentatively and kisses Yosuke again, testing, slower and easier this time.]

[ ryuji doesn't have to finish that sentence for yosuke to get it, so there's a slight quirk of his lips when he trails off. ]

Yeah... [ it was nice, just kind of getting to do it and figure things out. he remains still and watches ryuji slide closer, trying to ignore the excited little jump in his pulse when his face is close enough. he doesn't look like he's repulsed, at least, eyes a little wide and only slightly nervous in that anticipatory way.

it's embarrassing to stare at each other but yosuke's not looking away either. the hand in ryuji's hair slides to cup his jaw, maybe just to nudge his face closer. he doesn't entirely know why ryuji's searching or what for, but he's patient enough until their lips meet again. slower? he can do slower, easing his way into it and doing nothing to pick up speed or intensity this time. taking their time is perfectly fine. ]

[He still has a slightly bad leg, but he somehow has retained the lean muscle he had when he was the track star. All the Phantom Thieving probably. He doesn't want to smother Yosuke beneath him.

So he drops his hips down between Yosuke's knees and thighs and keeps the weight of his upper half off Yosuke. Both hands and arms slide under the back of Yosuke's shoulders. He has the leverage to deepen the kiss without the feral lack of restraint.

Just exploring, testing it out again. The heat is still there, and even without the drive, it's annoying how much he's still really into having a go at it with Yosuke. If he had decided to kiss his guy friends, would it be this way, too?

Awkward and curious, full of hot desire and a bit of silly boy idiocy?]

[ glad ryuji is putting some thought into this, even slightly, because yosuke sure isn't. he doesn't really want to think about the fact he's weirdly comfortable with the extra weight on him or the way ryuji's so close. he also doesn't want to think about the part where he doesn't mind being in his hands, letting ryuji pull him closer and how he easily turns his head for the right angle for this kiss. he's well aware he's shaking a little in his grip, but it's more out of anticipation and a little bolt of excitement coursing through him because if he doesn't think about it and doesn't psych himself out, it's easier to see this for what it is.

this is a horrible feedback loop, because the heat is there for both of them and yosuke doesn't speed them up, letting his second hand come up to the other side to cradle ryuji's face and hold him exactly where he wants him. on the one hand, he can't help but wonder if it'd be like this if he did work up the nerve to kiss yu. on the other, it's curiosity and a little shyness that makes him slow down and explore this route with ryuji instead. just because he asked the guy to help him doesn't mean he can't try to make this good for him, too. making out, as it turns out, really isn't that difficult when you can read that the other person is open to it and he relaxes under him, keeping it slow and even but still reigning in his eagerness to explore.

it's definitely desire and teenage idiocy, curiosity and intrusive thoughts when he bites down a little on ryuji's lip to get him to open his mouth again. and maybe it's a smooth, fluid motion the way he lets his tongue slip back in at the same time his leg winds around ryuji's hips to pull him closer. but he doesn't push it further than that. this is enough for now. he always thought his first kiss would escalate so quickly but... he's pretty damn content keeping it slow and just figuring things out. he really is going to give ryuji such a crisis on accident at this rate. ]

[I will (grits teeth) acknowledge Ryuji is unfortunately probably a little hard, but he does not try to take it any further because he is also nervous and his tummy might hurt.

This ping-pong game of aroused, hot feelings back and forth.

He does murmur a sort of playfully fond,] Ouch, dude, [under his breath when he is bitten. Annoyingly, he opens his mouth almost immediately to let Yosuke in since he is a whore.

At least now, he isn't trying so hard to eat Yosuke's face. Just feeling Yosuke's tongue and mouth, just thinking about how Yosuke tastes like Tobari's really good chips. That guy must have given them cursed chips. He does not think about this at all right this moment, there is too much else going on that's more important.

Crisis Ryuji is later, it's fine. Reirin helps. Hak and him have a nice convo about kissing and banging girls and boobs, and he realizes bisexuality is the better choice.

He pulls away for a second to breathe, not far at all, says,] You're kinda cute when your face is like that. [Flushed, he means. Anyway, Yosuke can either bite him or kiss him again, it's fine.]

[ sometimes.... you are two teenage boys and there is nothing to be done about it. yosuke is probably aware and somehow it's equal parts jarring and arousing, but he's firmly pushing that into a corner of his brain because he is also frankly way too nervous to consider it right now. he may have forgotten ryuji's sin is lust until this very moment, but there's a soft, almost smug hum when he lets him in.

this is somehow definitely tobari's fault. crisis yosuke is later because current yosuke is very okay with getting a feel for what it's like to kiss somebody, and in a way he's kinda glad they both are a little clueless. it's less pressure and he seems to be a little boneless under him while he teases his mouth and his tongue more out of pressing buttons than anything.

granted ryuji pulls back to say that and it means he flushes again, suddenly a little more sheepish about it. ]

Shut up, man. [ he is unaware he's kind of grinning though because... sometimes you do like being called cute, apparently. even if it's from a kind of cute guy instead of a cute girl. he doesn't bite again but there's another kiss before he slows them down again. ] You're getting better at this though.

[ this will be so much funnier when they inevitably don't talk for like a week. ]

[Nooooooooo. His turn to get flustered about something Yosuke says. It was supposed to be just him having a little quip. ANNOYING. He can't keep his face from getting red.]

Y-Yeah, well...

[They have been making out for the last five minutes, surely he would have hopefully learned something in that time frame; otherwise, this would have been the worst bi awakening experience for Yosuke.]

Like, so are you.

[This is supposed to be a friendly diss in reply, but it just ends up sounding like a compliment. GOD. ANYWAY! IGNORE THAT. The shy embarrassment bumps through somewhere beneath the heady arousal.]

You... wanna stop, or...?

[ to be completely fair i'm pretty sure yosuke had his bi awakening a few days before this, this is now just experimenting. but somehow making out and fumbling through it with someone who also is new to this is a good way to kind of figure it out. it's also why he sort of smirks when ryuji tries to diss him but it's a compliment instead.

however the new problem is he's half-tempted to say no. no, he would like to keep kissing, actually, but that's also like. weird? that's definitely weird, right? he asked ryuji for a practice run just to see how it felt and to make up for his other terrible experiences, not to keep going for fun. it probably doesn't help ryuji at all that yosuke's staying quiet and looking at him without any sort of tells while he's tumbling the idea around in his head.

new things to consider: has kissing in general made him horny, or is it ryuji himself? he actually isn't sure how much he wants to consider that and there's a sharp breath through his nose as he tries to clear his head. ]

... not really, but maybe we should. [ because he kind of has enough sense they have a few things to think about. also because we should maybe wrap this thread and see if they'll talk to each other a week later. ] It's getting kinda late anyway.

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